At some point, though, I did get sort of excited about becoming a doctor. I mean, you get to do some crazy stuff to people and they'd better like it because you are SAVING LIVES. A picture Tetradecimal drew of me sums up how I sort of started seeing my future self, all starry-eyed and shooting rainbows out of my hands.

Also, I thought I'd be sexier. That way, as I strolled purposefully down the hospital halls to SAVE LIVES, all the staff would notice me and say, "There goes that hot doctor. But she's more awesome than most hot people because she is also smart and kind." A real badass mix of House plus Mother Theresa plus Jessica Rabbit.

But that's okay. It's always better to look at the bright side of things, right? And so, I brainstormed the good things about being in medical school, some of which they actually taught us. Like, if I decided I wanted to be a drug addict as well, I would actually have an easier time than most people because I would have access to narcotics and other fun stuff; hell if I had doctor friends they might actually write me prescriptions because surveys have shown doctors are too chickenshit to tattle on their friends. So yay!
And I get to develop a god-complex for saving lives. And while this is certainly not unique, since police and firefighters do that shit too, I don't have to do it while being shot at or putting out raging fires. Yay again!

I guess, though, for now, until I decide to develop a drug habit or actually save lives, the best part about being in med school are the super fun stories you get to hear. For example, one of my friends was doing a neurology rotation. He went with his neurologist to do a spinal tap on a patient. This means you're trying to suck out spinal fluid without hitting all the nerves running through the spinal cord. Failing to do so can mean some major damage and suckitude. Like all beginning medical students, my friend had never done one before. The encounter went as such:





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